Category Archives: caring work

Male caregiving for the spouse with fibromyalgia

“Caring is pivotal to keeping the human enterprise going, yet its function is invisible in the organization of our daily lives”, Sheila Neysmith

This is my 50th blog and I have never yet discussed male caregivers! In my book I discussed with the women living with fibromyalgia the issues regarding the people who supported them (or in many cases, those who did not provide support or understand what it meant to be living with fibromyalgia) . Their answers often surprised me. I am one of the fortunate ones who has a husband with a caregiving nature. 2010 019He is my biggest supporter and without him I don’t know how I would survive the pain and fatigue. I generally feel guilty about the limitations of my life and how they have impacted on him. I have long wanted to write about the caregiving strain of coping with people who have invisible dis-eases while the work of the carer is itself often invisible. It can’t be easy since those of us with fibromyalgia usually look  healthy, and even the caregiver must wonder at times if we really are suffering as much as we say we are. The irony of all this is that women with fibromyalgia are usually in this state of hyperarousal of the nervous system because they themselves were once super-carers of others! Furthermore, the guilt we experience because others are taking care of many of our needs is a conundrum we are forced to live with.

Continue reading

Fibromyalgia: Men/ Women/ Sensitivity and Empathy

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it”, George Carlinp1010023

To-day one of my favourite comedians died. I shall miss his humour and while I obviously agree with Carlin’s view that both men and women are from earth, I cannot be quite so cavalier about dealing with many known differences. Sensitivity and empathy, for example, are human emotions that are often expressed very differently among men and women and both of these affect or may even be responsible for fibromyalgia.

Continue reading