Monthly Archives: October 2016

Fibromyalgia and brain ‘zaps’

“There’s someone in my head, but it’s not me”, Pink Floyd

Just as I thought that I had nothing new to write about I have discovered that the weird ‘brain’ sensations I have, which only lasts for moments, are common among those of us with this frustrating condition of fibromyalgia! I have had these peculiar short lived experiences that are followed by dizziness for several years now. The episodes are almost like a small temporary memory loss, almost feeling faint-like. I don’t have the language to describe them. It is as though my skull almost empties for a few seconds. It is somewhat creepy to imagine a skull without a brain.

Many have written that coming off a medication brings about these zaps/pings/shocks/memory loss/dizziness occurrences. But, I have not come off of any medications. Still, I have read that being on Gabapentin can cause them. I do take 300 to 400 mgs per day. Is this what is causing them? The attacks aren’t too frequent but certainly do cause slight dizziness and loss of balance. I have often had electrical shocks throughout my body- this isn’t the same thing. I have written about ‘brain fog’ several times – again, this isn’t exactly the same thing. I have had vertigo- it is different from that as well. I wish I had the language to describe the episodes. It’s as though my brain loses a second or two into the air, is not in my own body!

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Fibromyalgia and Happiness

“People are made happy by one thing and one thing only-pleasant sensations in their bodies”, Yuval Noah Harari

What is happiness? Sometimes I think I have been seeking it my entire life and it still often eludes me. I want to be happy. I have worked at it. I meditate, have done yoga and chi-gong, I even have coloured in books (the newest craze), made quilts and listened to joyful music, all said to enhance creativity which is thought to be integral to being happy. When I was young and religious I prayed. It made me fearful, not happy. I have looked at amazing skies, October foliage, a calm lake and enjoyed their beauty, but I do not often experience the peacefulness that happiness is said to bring. Is the feeling of being at peace the same as feeling happy? Some of the happiness experts say that if you smile often enough it will entice your brain to believe you are happy. I smile often when around others and many would consider me happy. Maybe, then, I do experience happiness, which differs from peacefulness. Perhaps it is so fleeting that it escapes my attention?

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