“The many different categories of happiness and suffering can be divided broadly into physical pleasure and suffering; and mental pleasure and suffering. The latter, the experiences of the mind, are more important than those of the body”, The Dalai Lama
The book by Dr.Rick Hansen exemplifies all that I have written about in the past year or two regarding how to change one’s brain to bring about happiness while living with the challenge of fibromyalgia. His book (Buddha’s Brain) exemplifies how one can change the brain and bring about a sense of peace, something all of us with fibromyalgia are struggling with on a daily basis. With peace comes a calm happiness.
The ‘excitotoxicity’ of our nervous systems is subject to so many conditions, among them being anxiety which is plaguing me right now. With anxiety there is the ugly twin sibling of depression. To accompany these twins are a multitude of physical manifestations and for those of us with fibromyalgia the list is too numerous to cite, but chief among them being pain, fatigue, itching, and irritable bowel . Like most of us with fibromyalgia I struggle between the two emotions of sympathy and empathy and when I am too empathetic I become anxious. Also, like others who take too much responsibility in life I am at my limit . My current responsibility for an aging mother (after years of dealing with an emotionally abusive father who recently died) has led me to stresses that sometimes seem unsurmountable, which then increases the activity of my amygdala. Without a strategy for reducing this brain activity, such as meditation and light exercise I could not continue with this caregiving process. Equally as important as meditation and light exercise (movement) is diet. These are the big 3 when it comes to working with fibromyalgia and trying to achieve some degree of happiness, which I equate with being peaceful.
Yet, when I read about mindfulness meditation (that is, being continuously mindful of the various emotions that one is subject to, allowing them to surface, then gently pushing them aside) I am led to believe that one develops more of an empathetic nature. How can it be that the very emotion that I want less of will bring more of it if I am mindful? Perhaps this means that I will become more empathetic of myself? Will that then bring me more happiness? It is true as the Dalai Lama has suggested that happiness is a state of mind and for that I am grateful for at least knowing how to work with an overstimulated nervous system (a.k.a. fibromyalgia). However, it takes discipline which I often lack and then have a difficult time forgiving myself for if I neglect to care for myself. Life keeps getting in the way! But life is not good if I eat sugar and not enough vegetables during the day or if I do not meditate or take walks or practice Qigong.
Today is another day! I will practice what I preach.I recently saw a video on utube about “Minding Your Mitochondria” by Dr. Terry Wahls who cured her own Multiple Sclerosis by changing her diet completely. She also mentions fibromyalgia as being among the conditions that need a diet change. To that end I have bought a juicer and intend to get even more leafy greens in my daily diet, along with my regular noon hour salad. No one, no physician, no therapist of any sort, no drugs can help me with fibromyalgia and my attempt to gain happiness. I am responsible for my own destiny.
Hi – Just read this great blog
We were wondering if we coudl use it as a guest post at our patients blog
http://www.patient-experience.com/
If you are interested please email me at
belinda [dot] shale [at] healthcarelandscape [dot] com
Rgds
Adam
Yes, of course!:-)
I just read an artical you wrote on fibro and sensitivity. I am a R.N. working at it since 1970. Had nuns in a catholic hospital for my nursing school… had one of the good sisters notice that I became involved with my patients… too much empathy.. you will never be a good nurse….Well after being transfered from floor duty.. too involved, to a few years in and ICU/CCU, crying with patients and family just got to be too hard, I was moved to an O.R… where I practiced my nursing, until retiring two years ago…
I was diagnosed with everything from chronic myocitis, to migrating arthritis, to you name it until 1988, when a rhumatologist called it chronic pain syndrom, and fibromyalgia…
The stress of my job did, on occasion agriviate it…the coldness of the O.R.s… to my diet….to not enough sleep, and I am one of those people that cry in the card store, sad movies ect… have been like that all my life. I fight depression daily, and have done so for many years.
I just wanted to tell you that I have found that the night shade veggies play a good part, I believe, in causing some of my pain… if I stay away from them I have noticed less pain…I have read, and tried many diet changes and this seemed to be the most criticial thing I’ve learned…. I also take green foods, a suppliment, and magnesium malate daily..along with my tramadol and a sleep aid…. I i try to keep active and maintain my level of activity…. I pick my battles.
Over the years, I have known many nurses, who suffer the same way, with the same complaints, and I really do believe you are on the right track!
I have been fighting this for a long time and if you have any intrest in anything I have written, there is so much I could tell you because it has been a battle for most of my adult , and when I think back on my childhood and growing pains, my life in general.
Thank you for just taking a good hard look at this condition, that effects so many care givers, who don’t complain because they don’t want to be labled a nut, because of something that is a very real problem…
Dear Judy: I just read your comment over and over again about crying in a card store. I can relate to that as well as my nursing career. I had to switch to sociology and teaching in a university as I could not stand the pain of patients as a nurse.Picking your battles is a wonderful strategy as we notice so many injustices that cause such angst with us, particularly in your chosen profession. I hope you can retire soon and have some release from your anxiety and overly empathetic nervous system! Keep in touch, Barbara
Just found your blog Barbara and intend to come back often! Judy, we could be kindred spirits! Lol! I am not a nurse (an artist) and worked in a variety of jobs but mostly in the advertising/communications area as well as now returning to my first love, fine art (painting), illustration and picked up jewelry making a while ago.
I read somewhere that nurses actually have the highest level of FM/CFS out of all occupations. I had been training to be a social worker and had done some training in clinical pastoral work, but now, just reading your blog briefly and this post, maybe it’s a good thing I got sidetracked from that. I spent 2 years caring for my mother full-time (live-in). She had developed Alzheimer’s disease. After two years, I basically physically crashed and she was placed in emergency respite then into long term care permanently. Then I moved again to enter into ANOTHER very emotional and draining family drama with my inlaws. Now my husband and I have distanced ourselves from that insane drama and I feel like just now I am beginning to heal. I just can’t take any stress any more it seems.
You know, one evening, a while back, I was watching a son’s documentary of his dad who developed Alzheimer’s. It was shot over a few years, from when his dad was diagnosed to his death. I, ofcourse, started crying here and there and felt their pain as they grappled with it all. By the end of the documentary, would you believe, I broke into hives?!?! That was it. I realized I had to really limit my exposure to this kind of situation.
I could write pages more, but you get the idea : ) Thanks again for your writing!
yes, Wiser: We are so subject to excessive empathy that many of these things make us extremely sad, anxious and depressed. Stress is our worse. Please read some of my other blogs and learn about the benefits of light exercise and meditation. Best wishes, Barbara