“What is required is a willingness to look deeply at one’s present moments, no matter what they hold, in a spirit of generosity, kindness toward oneself, and openness toward what might be possible” Jon Kabat-Zinn
I’m told that pain cannot be alleviated with massage or other kinds of body work(?); massages may feel good but will not help pain, a meditation instructor declared in my presence recently. Furthermore, this expert in meditation says that only by accepting the pain will we be able to reconcile with it. The more we suffer and struggle, the more we will continue to suffer and struggle. It is about letting go.
I am currently taking a course in Mindfulness Meditation. During this time we are read to by the instructor for a short period of time from the book of Jon Kabat-Zinn :Wherever You Go There You Are.
Having read his other book which I have featured on another blog, I am left with the understanding that I must learn to live by the popular saying “it is what it is” (not his words, but my interpretation of them) and accept the pain. I am trying to discipline myself with daily mindfulness of every moment (after 10 minutes of meditation). “Aha”, I thought this morning.” I can’t climb stairs today as the pain in my knees is so intense”. My first instinct is to wonder when these knees became so painful (this past summer by my recollection)and why fibro has hit there this time. Instead, I am trying to let go of that thought and accept the pain without struggle. I have read that by doing this, moment to moment, along with meditation, the brain will remap itself. Sounds simple? I have no other solution to the constant struggles I have been living with for 40 years. Meditation is a way for those of us with chronic pain to train our brain to end this fighting with the pain in a non-judgmental way. It requires discipline, which isn’t easy when one feels debilitated.
In the meantime it is a beautiful, sunny autumn day and I am enjoying this moment. I will not complain for this entire day about my knees, hips, arms or any other body part. I will remain present with the pain, notice it and not spend every moment struggling with it. This sounds so simple. It is not. Living with an invisible dis-ability on a daily basis is not easy, in particular as a woman who has been seen as a caregiver of others (as most women are !). The pain we often talk about to those who care about us is our way of expressing the ways in which society recognizes only visible forms of dis-ability since we often look so healthy and not believed. There are many forms of dis-ability, but fibromyalgia is an invisible dis-ease.
Thank you, Barbara, for writing this book. Both my daughter and my best friend have fibromyalgia. This has helped me understand and explain this condition. I had borrowed the book from my library, and have since ordered one to keep – and lend. My friend says, “why wont my family read this and understand me better?” My daughter gets her information on line – but maybe I can entice her into looking into the book sometime. Should be in every Doctor’s office!
Thank You so much for the kind words, Florence. This has come at a particularly bad day for me when the pain all over is bad. I am happy the library has a copy too. I wish more people would read and understand because I think that the younger the person the more hope there is in working with it. Hopefully you will encourage your own doctor to read it! I believe that there is hope for calming the nervous system with the new brain research but today of all days I just want some degree of relief myself and it is often difficult to remain hopeful!
I really appreciate comments from someone like you who does not actually have fibromyalgia but wants to help friends and family members live with some degree of dignity dealing with the struggles of this demon!