Thanks Tim. If you go to my October 10/08 blog you will see that I feature his book cover. He has indeed been helpful for me. You are right that ‘ruminating on every childhood slight’ is not useful. I find it has helped me though to understand how hyper-arousal in my own ‘psyche’ evolved from when I was a child. But, not so as to keep retelling it or reliving it, rather to help others identify their own ultra-sensitive “personality” so that triggers can be recognized and hopefully brains remapped. I don’t think this is due primarily to nature but instead mostly to nurture. Even as I write this however, I believe that while in utero we can be affected by the state of mind of our mothers. So much to think about and so much to learn. Only the tip of the iceberg so far! Regards, Barbara

Dear Barbara

I would heartily recommend a book called ‘The Divided Mind’ by John E. Sarno. It presents some extremely interesting ideas about fibromyalgia, and how to cure. Dr Sarno uses knowledge of the processes used by the brain to induce physical symptoms (to mask the unsurfacing of unconscious emotions into the conscious realm) to help to alleviate the symptoms. It is not about ‘ruminating on every childhood slight’. He also raises some interesting facts around epidemiology – I shall leave it with him to explain why so many people now have diagnoses of fibromyalgia…..

Good luck to you all finding relief from FMS.

Best wishes
Tim

Hello from the East Coast, Carolyn!
This linkage of our two main perspectives is really worthwhile exploring! What does this say about women in our society? You are right, what is the value of rehashing all our painful stories, in lieu of remaking into a different one that is more hopeful? All we do when we recall past hurts and pain is reactivate the nervous system and experience the negativity all over again!
Your own site is wonderful.
Thanks for writing in.
Barbara

Hello from the West Coast, Barbara!

This is absolutely fascinating. Oncologists sometimes talk about the ‘cancer-prone personality’ – which includes several of the same people-pleasing, self-sacrificing tendencies that you describe so eloquently here.As a heart attack survivor, I’m wondering if we could substitute the words ‘heart disease’ for ‘fibromyalgia’ here. Ruminating is particularly common in female heart patients and can also contribute to the descent into depression – common in up to 65% of heart patients, yet appropriately treated in fewer than 10%. I’m especially intrigued by the concept that sitting around talking and focusing on our symptoms may actually be in fact increasing them – a profound idea! Indeed I know several of my fellow heart attack survivors who seem to like nothing better than to tell their ‘ain’t it awful, poor me, my doctor’s an idiot’ stories over and over and over again. According to this perspective, they’re making things much worse!?!

Gosh, what does this say about psychoanalysis where patients spend literally years doing all that ruminating on every childhood slight?

Well done – very interesting post!

cheers,
Carolyn Thomas
http://www.myheartsisters.org

Self talk is part of the on-going process that can keep us either ruminating about negative things or uplift us. But self talk that keeps telling the same story over and over continues to be embellished! I am reminded of the parlour game where one person whispers a story to another and that one to another and so on. In the end the story is completely distorted! So it is with self talk. If the memories that we have which are unpleasant and negative keep imposing upon us and we aren’t constantly aware of the bodily sensations we have when they re-occur, obviously the physical pain of fibromyalgia will continue. What a remarkable thing is that little wee brain of ours! I want to send it good messages but have been stuck in pain for so long it takes a great deal of discipline and much to un-learn…

Michael Gazzaniga: The Ethical Brain

“Our autobiographical memories are remembered anew each dat, in a way that best fits our current concept of self. In the words of Daniel Dennett, ‘Memory in its fundamental sense is the ability to store useful information and to retrieve it in precisely those circumstances and that form which allow it to be useful’ to us in the present moment. Thus our concept of self is an ever-changing one that will most accurately represent our current feelings and beliefs about ourselves. It will not accurately represent the way we felt about ourselves in the days, weeks, and years past. But this is probably a healthy thing. We do grow wiser as we grow older, so it is only fitting that we forget those days when we were not so wise – or at least remember them only insofar as they are useful now. Memory is not so much a mechanism for remembering the past as a means to prepare us for the future. Some of my best memories are false ones.”

I love that last line!